Adrian Masters

I enjoyed reading people’s mangled sayings recently. It all began when I overheard this brilliant example:

I’m going to start collecting mangled proverbs and figures of speech. Just heard: ‘it’s a funny old chestnut.’ Fabulous.

— Adrian Masters (@adrianmasters84) February 14, 2013

These were sent to me on twitter:

@adrianmasters84 One for your list? DM describe an Eastleigh candidate as “”famously speaks from the hip..” #mangledsayings — Margaret Keenan (@MargaretKeenan) February 15, 2013

@adrianmasters84 A news editor once said to me, “That’s the kettle calling the teapot.”

— Mark Hutchings (@markhutchings1) February 14, 2013

@adrianmasters84 she has a certain ‘Je ne sais pourquoi…’ #mangledsayings

— emmacmuso (@emmacmuso) February 14, 2013

@adrianmasters84 “Quelle Fromage!” #mangledsayings French edition

— emmacmuso (@emmacmuso) February 14, 2013

@adrianmasters84 “A damp squid” is one of my favourites. #MangledSayings

— Richard Jones (@The_RLJ) February 14, 2013

@adrianmasters84 my step dads #mangledsaying . “to be pacific”

— Martin Reed(@resolven2) February 14, 2013

@adrianmasters84 He was innocent - he had a lullaby. #mangledsayings

— Sue Brooke (@Brookebrooky) February 14, 2013

@adrianmasters84 my Aunty said “he was a fool that boy, he spent thousands getting his car circumcised” #mangledsayings

— James (@jimbobswansea) February 14, 2013

@adrianmasters84 You should watch old TV series like F Troop - “don’t count your chickens before you leap”, a red indian favourite

— Martin Williams (@martininpenarth) February 14, 2013

@adrianmasters84 How about DI Grimm from Ben Elton’s Thin Blue Line with “It’s my arse on the line & I don’t want your cock up” 😉 #mangled

— Mark Williams (@MarkW_CSI) February 14, 2013

@adrianmasters84 I knew someone who always said ‘going off on a tandem’ instead of ‘tangent’

— Jayne Bryant (@JayneyBryant) February 14, 2013

@adrianmasters84 my Ukrainian dad used to say “you don’t know what it is to be hungry till you’ve had to eat your horse,” bad timing -?

— MickAntoniwAM (@MickAntoniwAM) February 14, 2013

@adrianmasters84 the good lady wife says “like a bull at a china gate”.

— Nįgęł thømåš (@Nigelwyn) February 14, 2013

@adrianmasters84 now you’re opening a kettle of ball games!

— cymrojazz (@cymrojazz) February 14, 2013

@adrianmasters84 I said someone ‘needed to get their arse together’ yesterday. Not shit together or arse in gear, oh no, arse together.

— Matt Jarrett (@int_monologue) February 14, 2013

And these were sent to me on Facebook:

Dilwyn Jones: It’s not rocket surgery

Lee Chappell: They’re sweating adrenhilin

Sally Harrold: Sorry I’m late, the roads are chocolate block

Dilwyn Jones: That really gets up my goat

Helun Ford: Can’t pull the wool from under my eyes

Dominic Conway: ‘Don’t look at me with that tone of voice’ and even broadcasters talk about situations being ‘on tenderhooks’.

Clive Witcomb: My face, from a dozy former colleague taking about the one book she’d ever read- “It’s a minefield of information”!

Carl Roberts: When I persuaded my Uncle Bryn to stay for a cup of tea in my house he said “go on then, you’ve twisted my leg”

Iola Protheroe: If you’re not careful I’ll be taking you home lost.

Lee Masters: Now the shoes on the other hand

Jonathan Morgan: She’s bitten her nose off despite her face

Rebecca Hood: I’ve only got two pairs of hands

Lisa Banton: The sky is your lobster!

Andy Collinson: Give her enough rope and she’ll shoot herself and opening a can of snails .. I kid you not. Best of all…. What have you been doing ? Oh, just walking up the Hayes, kicking heels

Zoe Thomas: Bullet a gate

Malcolm Haley: Here’s one from Eleanor when she was about 3, trying to tell us who’s the boss - “I’m the voice of a Dorothy round here!”

Richard Wyn Jones: Don’t cross your bridges before they hatch!

Ade Masters: My mother once said to me , ” I can read you like a record “!!

Ian Blanken: Don’t come running to me if you fall and break your leg !

Joey Dubs: I once heard someone say whilst trying to belittle me, ‘no shit Shylock’!